


I am You and You are Me

by frogsandrosbifs



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Childhood, Drabble Collection, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-30
Updated: 2013-12-14
Packaged: 2018-01-03 01:28:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1064057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frogsandrosbifs/pseuds/frogsandrosbifs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles focusing on Cersei and Jaime's childhood. All written for my roleplay account. I will add new ones through chapters !</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sleep

**_Sleep_ **

The door opened and closed slowly as a little blonde tiptoed around the room, being overly careful not to make a single noise. She whimpered at how cold the floor was under her bare feet. In his sleep, Jaime moved and whispered something. “Shhhhh,” the little girl said, more to herself than to anyone else. She did not want to wake her brother up, not now, at least. It would be for the morning, before the maids would come, so they could change places for the day.

She slipped under the covers of the bed, normally too small for two, and squeezed herself against her brother, looking for warmth. Instinctively, the boy opened his arms and took her in an embrace. Cersei nuzzled herself closer before kissing his brow and his golden hair - or maybe hers ? - In those times, she was not sure who was who.

Quickly, the boy fell back to sleep, if he had even been awake. Cersei allowed herself to touch his hair and look closely at his face before going back to sleep. It was just like staring at herself in the mirror. His whole body, his smell, his voice, everything about him was also her, and the other way around.

"I love you Jaime," she whispered in their own invented language, before letting out a yawn and closing her eyes, happy for his warmth and his love.

 

_***_

 

**_Sword_ **

 

"You cannot get me, never, you cannot !"

A storm made of soft pink silk and golden hair passes through the hallway, crosses the path of a laughing mother and amused guards and dashes out in the garden. Another golden storm follows, laughing as loudly as the girl, almost bumps into the guards as he grabs his wooden sword, dashes outside— and suddenly stops.

_Where is she,_ he thinks, _did she hide ? Where did she hide ?_

The laugh betrays her location, coming from above his head. But when he raises his, she has already jumped down from the tree and stolen the wooden sword from his hands. “CERSEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !”

Out of breath, she is already gone, brandishing the sword, _I am a knight, Jaime, I am you, you are me, I am a knight, and tomorrow I will be the Queen and you will be the knight._

None of them is quicker than the other, as they are the same, but Cersei knows how and when to hide, she knows what he will expect and therefore plays with that. Their exhausting race ends behind the trees in the far end of the garden. Both out of breath, they laugh for a few minutes, but then Cersei is still not giving back the sword. Jaime is starting to lose patience. 

"Give it back !"

"Then, If I am Queen, will you be my knight ?"

"I will be your knight."

"Do you promise ?"

"I promise."

"Will we be together forever ?"

"Forever, Cersei."

"Do you love me ?"

"I love you, Cersei."

"Then have your sword, Jaime my knight."

Not without regret, she gave the sword back. “I will have my own one day anyway. I’d rather be a knight than a Queen. Or maybe I should be both.”

"I’ll get one for you."

"How ?"

"I’ll say I lost this one. They’ll get me another one."

A wicked smile appeared on the girl’s face, who took the toy from his hands again. She then started to dig a hole in the mud and threw the sword there before covering it with earth.

"Here. You’ll get it back when I have mine."

Jaime laughed at how dishonest it was, not sure if they should lie to get what they wanted, to which Cersei replied that it was not a lie that hurt anyone, it was only a useful lie.

As they returned, their mother let out a scream which made her sound like she was hesitating between fear and hilarity. Cersei’s pretty silk dress was not pink anymore ; it was brown now. The twins were thrown into a bath with a few maids and gently scolded for being such wild little lions.

Anyway, it didn’t matter. They had a secret, and everytime their gaze would meet, they’d giggle. 

 

_***_

_**Brother**   
_

 

"I have something to tell you. Jaime, Cersei, you will soon have a little brother or sister," their mother told them before putting them to bed that night, laying a hand on her stomach. Jaime had smiled, obviously excited, and was already going on about how he hoped it would be a boy as he went on his separate way - in his new room at the other side of the castle -, but Cersei stayed silent. She did not utter a word as Joanna kissed her good night. 

During the next day, the little girl was taciturn ; her lessons did not go that well, and she even had to be scolded for running away from the singing class she secretly hated so much. The septas didn’t understand, as Cersei was such a sweet child, a perfect girl, and called her mother for help. Joanna found her child in her usual corner of the garden where she liked to hide, near the fountain in which once she had jumped as a small girl.

"Cersei, little cub ? What is it my love ?"

Stubborn as she was, the little lion cub turned away, crossing her arms, refusing to even look at her mother. But Joanna wouldn’t be fooled, and a hug was enough to unleash Cersei’s tears.

"So ? Tell me what’s wrong, lion cub."

It took a while for her to calm down and finally be able to talk, between hiccups. “I.. don’t want.. a brother or a sister !”

"Why is it so, my love ? It will be great ! You’ll have another friend to play ! You can be the big sister !"

The child shook her head, still upset. 

"No ! You will forget me ! If it is a son, you won’t love m-me anymore, and I will have to share Jaime ! I don’t want to share Jaime, he is me, not another person, he is me and I am him and I don’t want anyone else, I don’t want a sibling to ruin everything !"

Joanna took a deep breath before cradling her girl into her arms and talking softly, burying her head in her soft golden curls. She had expected that from her daughter. To be quite honest, she was hoping that another child would help the twins part a little from each other and open up to the world. Jaime was of a friendlier nature, but Cersei tended to dislike anyone who was not her brother and would even openly say it. It was worrying.

"I will never not love you. I will always, always love you. I will love that child as much as you and Jaime, but that does not mean I won’t love you anymore ! Do you believe me ?"

She let Cersei a minute to calm down until she muttered a “yes”.

"Jaime is the same. He will always love you. You wouldn’t love him less if you had a sister, wouldn’t you ?"

Cersei shook her head.

"You are twins. You share a deep, strong bond, quite unique. A sibling cannot break that, do not worry. But it does not mean that sibling cannot be friends with the both of you. And I do not care whether it is a son or a daughter, it does not change anything."

The little girl clung to her mother. As much as she wanted to believe it, she was still upset. It was true about Jaime, but what if.. what if ? But her mother rocking her was drowning her worries and calming her down so well that soon, she was forgetting about it. Sure, her mother loved her, she loved her so much, and Jaime loved her too, just like she loved him… Maybe it could be nice, after all, to have a younger sibling they could help raising… Maybe… 


	2. Brave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another drabble where Cersei has to sleep without her brother for the first time.

It wasn’t fair — it wasn’t  **fair** , she had not even understood what they had done wrong, just that it was very, very very bad because Mother had had a terrified look on her face. 

She had kissed her before bed, and told her that it was going to be alright, and that Jaime would be there in the morning. Of course he would be there in the morning, but it was now that she needed him. Refusing to even shed a tear in front of Mother, Cersei had said nothing. She loved her mother, but right now she was angry at her, and when Cersei was angry, she refused to talk. Now that she had left, leaving the room dark and empty, the little girl could allow herself to cry, and it’s with angry sobs that she tossed and turned in bed, and then sat up, already giving up.

 ** _You are crying too, now, aren’t you ?_** she thought, staring up at the moon through the window, picturing her twin sobbing in an empty room just like hers.

It felt physically painful, like a limb had been ripped out from her. Her skin was crawling, and she just wanted to sit there and scream her head off.

She gave in ; she screamed until her throat was raw, or at least until one of the men guarding her door ran into the room panicked, thinking that someone was harming her.

That was when she understood that she was making a fool of herself ; and what would her mother say, if she saw her screaming like that ! That was not nice. That was not ladylike.

Of course Cersei did not care about being ladylike, right now. She wanted to be with her brother instead of being a poor soul ripped off from her other half. She sent the guard back and, in her agitated state, tried to think of a solution.

Mother had said they had done bad things. Screaming was a bad thing, but maybe if now she behaved well, just for this night, she would be able to sleep with Jaime again. They were just being punished. Tomorrow it will be over, if she actually made it through tonight. 

_**If I am good tonight, it will be alright.** _

The little girl put herself back to bed, then. But no matter what, she could not close her eyes. She was cold and stranded, she was not herself — and she could see shapes in the dark, things that scared her. When things at night scared her, she would ask Jaime to protect her, and would hide in his arms as they’d sing songs to each other. But tonight she was all alone. She considered running away or getting out through the window to find Jaime — there had to be a way ! — before remembering. Just this night. She had to be brave like a lioness tonight. Hugging herself and curling up into a ball, the shaking little girl forced herself to close her eyes, imagining her brother telling her that it was alright, that there was nothing there.

"Look, that’s just your gown making a weird shadow there, and the moonlight coming through the window," she talked to herself. 

Her voice was his, a reassurance that helped her mimic his presence.

"We have to be brave tonight, Jaime, we have to be brave and not scream."

She talked to herself like that for hours and sang songs as well, until, finally, she felt sleep come to her.

One hour later, her handmaiden was there to wake her up.


End file.
